I don't like cannoli's

Several years ago at a family party I met Eric's Uncle Nick for the first time.  He is an adorable silver haired man.  Biting into his second cannoli he said, "If you're not eating a cannoli you are not a Fortuna".

I don't like Cannolis.  It is a good thing I didn't change my last name.

Eric did not seem too upset when I told him I would be keeping my maiden name when we got hitched.  If he was upset he kept it to himself.  I think the fact that I had "Fortuna" tattooed across my shoulder made him feel like I was truly committed to the relationship.  People refer to him as my 'boyfriend' quite a bit because the assumption is that if we were married we would have the last name.  I have had people call him Mr. Gilmore and almost every piece of mail I get from family (even MINE) and people who do not know us well is addressed 'Mr. and Mrs. Fortuna'.  Half of the checks we were given for our wedding were written to Mr. and Mrs. Fortuna which made it difficult for us to cash without ID and a copy of our marriage license.

Keeping my last name was something I always wanted to do.  It has nothing to do with the name 'Fortuna'.  I was 34 when we got married.  That is a long time to be called 'Kelli Rae Gilmore'.  And historically a woman taking a mans name was a symbol of her being his 'property' after marriage.  It seems like an archaic tradition and one simply practiced for that very reason.  Everyone is doing it.  "Gilmore" is part of who I am.  And remaining a "Gilmore" allows me to remain connected to my family in some way.

Now enter baby.

Long before Eric and I got married we talked about having a baby.  Specifically we were going to have a boy and we would name him Rocco.  What else do you name a kid with the last name 'Fortuna'?  I knew it was something Eric wanted to do to honor his late father.  While Rocco would not have been MY first choice for a name, this baby is SUCH a Rocco!

I'm OK with having a different last name than the rest of my family.  I just have to remind myself not to get annoyed with people who do not get our names right.  It was my decision to not to conform.  It was my decision not to hyphenate.

People assume the baby's last name is Gilmore until I correct them.  People assume my last name is Fortuna until I correct them.  And even when I correct them they still refer to me as 'Mrs. Fortuna'.

I'm preparing myself to handle the confusion when it is time for Rocco to go to school, sign up for little league, and apply to colleges.  I just hope this kid likes cannoli's.