BANG! BANG! (not in my house)

I've been hesitant to write this blog because I want to write it in a way that does not offend anyone.  That is something I have a hard time doing lately.
I tend to do things in a nontraditional manner.  And I happen to be opinionated.  The combination often makes people angry.  Since I'm doing something differently I must be suggesting that what others are doing is wrong.  Read into it what you will.  I'll do my best....

I was initially thrilled when I found out I was pregnant with a boy.  Eric and I were hoping for a son.  We were talking about 'Baby Rocco' long before we were even married.
But after I gave it some more thought I started to worry....
How was I going raise a boy?  Boys like baseball and...guns.

Guns.
I don't have very strong opinions about them.  I'm not educated enough about how they are regulated.  But I do know that guns are not toys.
Which leads me to the dilemma....How do I raise a boy who doesn't play with guns?
I know moms who insists that boys are born to make gun noises and when they learn how to use their fingers they turn their thumb and forefinger into a gun.  People wish me 'good luck' when I say I'm going to do my best to avoid it.
I was searching for information about children and guns and came across a blog another mother wrote about her reaction to the recent tragedy in Colorado.  She wrote that while she knows that all boys who play with guns do not grow up to murder people she does not believe allowing them to think they are toys can be all that great either.  One of the responses was from a man who said that toys as guns reinforce that life isn't precious.
That's it.
That sums it up right there.
And for me that holds true for not only other people but for animals as well.
I don't want Rocco to kill things.  I don't want him to shoot things.  Because shooting does lead to death.  And I don't think that should be treated as 'fun' or a 'game'.

Life is precious.  Accidents happen.  Children get into their parents desk drawer and blow off their heads.  Kids take guns to school and shoot classmates.
And you can give me all of that "Guns don't kill people, people kill people" crap.  I'm not budging.

Thankfully, Eric is on board with this.  We recently spent some time with a few little boys who were pretending to kill each other.  While we were reading to Rocco before bed and talking about all of the things we want for him in life Eric turned to me and said, 'Yeah...I'm not into all of that violent stuff.  I don't want him to play those games'.

I don't think that guns cause children to become murderers.  But.....I do not want to send a message to Rocco that death is fun.  I don't want him to think that 'killing' is OK.  

Bowling for Columbine is one of my favorite films.  I love Michael Moore and I think the movie is important for people to see.  The security camera footage from that horrible day really gets to me.   I can't help but think that once upon a time those two young men were little boys pointing their forefinger gun at some one saying, "I just killed you".

And the 2012 Mother of the Year is....

...not me.
Ok.  So not keeping up with a blog doesn't make me a bad mother or warrant a call to CPS.  But I have been feeling a little bit guilty about not devoting much time to Rocco's little newsletter.  The reason I have not is because I have been devoting my time to Rocco himself!
Most of you know this year has been extremely difficult for the Gilmore/Fortuna family.
Eric has been ill.  We lost a close friend to cancer.
And while we have been extremely stressed emotionally, financially, and spiritually we have been elated with our little man.
Rocco celebrated his first birthday with about 40 of his closest friends.

He took his first steps.
Visited the beach.
Has been taking swimming lessons.

While 2012 been a year of struggle and sorrow it has been a year of pure joy and excitement.
If I did not have Rocco to take care of I don't know where I would be.
I am truly grateful for this gift of motherhood.
And grateful for all of you who care about my son and make his world a wonderful place.
Mama is tired from chasing him around in circles all day.
I promise to write something more interesting soon.

9 months!

I can't believe Rocco is 9 months old already.  9 months of pregnancy felt like an eternity.  This time has passed so quickly.  As much as I love the surprises and milestones each day brings, it makes me sad that my baby isn't such a baby anymore.
Rocco is 23 pounds and 30 inches long.
The pediatrician said he is right on target developmentally and growing beautifully.

Not feeling the finger prick

He has 7 teeth.
He is waving and pointing at everything.  He eats three solid meals.  He seems to have his fathers appetite but is a picky eater like his mama.

He wants to drink from a cup but isn't really there yet

He pulls himself to stand and will walk holding onto the couch or coffee table.
Rocco continues to sleep through the night with an occasional rough night due to a new tooth.
Mama is getting ready to plan a 1st birthday for her little guy.  It is hard to believe.
Thanks for checking in with everyones favorite little monkey.

Rocco's First Christmas and Other Holiday Ramblings

Eric and I would like to thank everyone who made Rocco's first Chirstmas a special one.  He had no idea what was going on.  To him everyday is an adventure filled with new people and places.  But it was memorable for us.

We considered this our 'free' year.  Since Rocco is too young to comprehend the holiday Eric and I did not put up a tree or buy him a ton of gifts.  We know we have many years ahead of decorating and gift giving.  Which leads us to ponder this - how do we raise a child who understands what Christmas is about, enjoys the holiday, but does not see it as an opportunity to get EVERYTHING his little heart desires?

Rocco loved Santa.  He sat on Santa's lap at the mall, something Eric and I felt we had to do.  He did not cry and the overpriced photo came out pretty cute.  We went to a party on Christmas Eve where Santa came for a visit.  Rocco waved at him like they were long lost friends.  It was pretty cute.  But DAMN!  This could be bad.

I know a woman whom I have great respect for.  She has two children who are quite a few years apart in age.  She told me that her son was raised believing in Santa Claus but that on Christmas morning he knew that the gifts under the tree were from her and her husband.  As a result she says he is appreciative.  He understands that everything he is given on Christmas his parents have worked hard for.  He has gratitude and he is not greedy.  Her daughter has a different father and she claims that her in-laws have shoved Santa down her daughters throat.  Her daughter does not have the same gratitude her son has.  She presents a long list of wants from Santa and will not hesitate to say she does not like something.

Everyone I know who has children ran around like crazy spending, spending, spending the month before Chirstmas.  Every conversation I overheard was about holiday shopping.  Children don't just want a Barbie doll or a football anymore.  They want Ipods.  They want televisions. Wii's.  Laptops. They want items made for adults.  Items that will end up crusted in cereal and boogers.  Items that cost money and are expensive to repair.

How do I raise a son who does not want Ipods and cell phones?  One answer is to not allow him to watch television. (That is another blog topic all together.) I have also been told that kids want what their friends have.  (Which means Rocco can't have friends who watch television.)  I just can't help but think that parents have some responsibility in this as well.  

Stories and songs about Christmas indicate that Santa brought ONE gift to each child. The song "Jolly Old Saint Nicholas" says that "Johnnie wants a pair of skates. Susy wants a dolly.   Nelli wants a story book.  She thinks dolls are folly".  Eric and I have played with the idea of teaching this to Rocco.  He may ask Santa for one thing.  The rest of his gift will come from us, this grandparents, and friends.  Maybe this will keep him from thinking that toys magically appear on the living room floor.  We still have time to think about this.  But we need to do something to keep the greed under control.

While I am not a religious person I do want Rocco to understand the 'true meaning of Christmas'.  This may be a challenge since I'm pretty sure Jesus was born in August and I don't buy the immaculate conception story line.  Details aside I do believe that Jesus existed and is an important historical figure.  Thankfully I have several church goers in my life who can assist me with this.

 All of this being said Rocco has changed the holiday season for me.  It has given me a new found sense of what it important.  Waking up to a happy, babbling baby is present enough for me.  Although I really do love my new indoor cycle shoes.