Mama Must Haves

I was told before I had Rocco that I was going to need alot of 'stuff' for the baby.  Furniture, clothes, feeding tools, toys, etc.  Eric and I decided to register at Target (my favorite store) and the baby registry website had a list of items to guide you through the registry process.  I couldn't believe how much was on it and thought "We are never going to get all of this stuff and we are going to go broke preparing for this baby".

We got most of the essentials and were fortunate to have quite a bit of what we needed given to us.  We are not too proud for hand-me-downs (two changing tables, a jogging stroller, and a crib).  We also purchased several items at yard sales (exersaucer and walker).  I was able to buy most of what we needed with the generous gift card my coworkers gave me as a shower gift.  My parents gift to us (Rocco, really) was a mattress and travel system.  So, with a house full of baby gear we were ready to bring Rocco home.

The play room.  No longer this neat and organized.

We are five months into our parenting adventure and Eric and I have come to realize that the 'baby industry' is huge.  They bank on the fact that new parents want everything to be perfect.  They want to convince you that you need their products to ensure the safety of your child.  They want new moms and dads to feel like they have to have all of these accessories in order to be 'good' parents.  We knew this going into parenthood.  But as we make our way through Rocco's changing needs we see that most of what we were told we needed we actually did not.  So for those of you who are about to embark on this same adventure I thought I would let you know what I found to be a 'must have' and what I can do without.

My number ONE must have is the Boppy Pillow.  I use it for nursing.  I also used it for plopping Rocco down before he was able to roll over.  It is a perfect place to stick your newborn while you run to the bathroom.  I also put Rocco in it on the bathmat while I took a shower.  We still use it every day.  A regular pillow does not work as well for propping the baby on the boob.  And extra covers are highly recommended.

Tummy time on the Boppy.  Colorful slip cover.

Perfect for babies AND dogs

The second thing I can not live without is the play mat from Auntie Morgan.  I LOVE Infantino products.  They are super cute, colorful, and gender neutral.  Rocco has loved this thing from the very beginning.  And really, it is another great place to plop the baby in an emergency like when you need to refill your coffee cup.  It is lightweight and easy to transport.  It is also great for tummy time.  Not only does Rocco enjoy playing with the dangling animals.  He is mesmerized by the colorful patterns on the mat when he finds himself face down.

A very young Rocco on his play yard.

Rocco starts to notice the toys.

If your baby is gassy you need Mylicon or a generic version of this medication.  Target, Walmart, and Rite Aid all make versions of this same remedy at a fraction of the cost.  We give it to Rocco if he is super fussy after eating.  Usually within 30 minutes he is much calmer and is producing adult sounding farts.  It is kind of amusing to us but such a relief to him.

A gassy baby is an unhappy baby.

Since Rocco has started teething we are promoters of Hyland's Teething Tablets.  Rocco was so good while cutting his first tooth we didn't even notice it coming in.  However, this second tooth is giving him a hard time. His gums are red and puffy.  The poor boy constantly has his fingers in his mouth and he is super irritable.  These pills dissolve quickly and seem to give him relief immediately.  And I feel better about giving these to him than baby Tylenol.

I encourage every expecting or new mother to stock up on receiving blankets and skip the traditional burp cloth.  Dwell Studio has a line at Target stores with adorable prints.  The patterns are modern and funky and the blankets are larger than traditional receiving blankets which make it much easier to swaddle baby as he/she starts to grow and wiggle.  We go through several of them a day.  We keep them everywhere.  Sometimes I will do an entire laundry load of just receiving blankets.  Burp cloths are stupid.  Skip them.   They don't hold as much spit up as your baby will produce.

Rocco being burped with my favorite Dwell receiving blanket. 

Good for burping and napping.  Onsie by Dwell Studio for Target.

What you don't need?  Well...quite a bit.  You find that you make due with what you have.  We did not buy a baby wipe warmer or a bath water thermometer.  Rocco is surviving just fine.

We spent about $15 on a bottle drying rack.  They come in all different shapes and sizes.  There are quite a few to choose from so it seems like it must be something useful to have.  Yeah....no.  It does nothing that my normal dish rack does not already do.  And it takes up too much counter space.  Something I can't spare.  We use it because it is there.  But I wish we had spent the $15 on diapers instead.  

In my opinion the bouncy seat and swing do the same thing.  Keep the baby occupied for a few minutes while you try and wash dishes.  Therefore, I do not think you need them both.  I'm lucky both of mine were given to me so we do not have any money invested in them.  But I am sure alot of you do.  Rocco preferred the bouncy seat.  We still use the swing because it is there.  We keep it in the kitchen.  The bouncy seat goes all over the house with us because it is small and so lightweight.  Save your money and buy one. You will also be saving space!

Rocco naps in his bouncy seat while his big cousin stands guard

What is comes down to is the baby industry preying on a new parents fear and anxiety.  They know we want to raise happy, healthy babies and lead us to believe that we will not if we do not buy! buy! buy!  Think about how your parents raised you.  And how their parents raised them.  Diapers with sharp safety pins! Carriages without neck support or safety straps! Stuffed animals with bite sized plastic eyes!  We all survived.

And if you need a reminder of just how resilient babies are and how successful parents can be without all of the trinkets and gadgets rent the documentary Babies.  Those Mongolian babies do just fine without a Babies R Us.

Rocco's Dinner Party

Rocco was born hungry.
Eric and I named him 'Hungry, Hungry Rocco' after the game 'Hungry, Hungry Hippo's'.

That poor baby was big and mama's boobies were not.  His first taste of formula was in the hospital.  It was given to him by one of the nurses while I slept.  Eric gave them permission out of desperation.  Rocco sucked that stuff down and slept.

Rocco latched on right away.

Upon returning home the feeding issues continued.  He was cranky.  I was frustrated.  Daddy was exhausted.  After a week or two we figured out a system that worked for all of us.  I nursed Rocco and we supplemented with formula.

Two weeks old sucking down formula.

I was told by several of my mommy friends that they gave their kids cereal in order to get them to sleep through the night.  Every parenting book and internet site said otherwise.  There is no proof that giving babies cereal would help them sleep.  However, in a desperate attempt to get a full nights rest I caved and gave it a try.  We discovered that it is indeed an old wives tale.  Rocco still got up the same number of times only he seemed to be more gassy because his little digestive system didn't know what to do with that cereal.

I spent alot of time with babe on boob/dog on lap

At Rocco's four month well visit the pediatrician suggested we start trying solids.  She said cereal and vegetables are her preferred first foods.
We tried cereal again.  We had attempted to give Rocco cereal with a spoon before and he didn't know what to do with it.  But lately he has been watching us put food in our mouths and will eye us while we chew.  He ended up with more of it on his body than in his belly.  After a few days he caught on and started to swallow.  But we still think he ended up wearing more than he was eating.

Enjoying his cereal.

Babies R Us was having a sale on organic baby food a few weeks ago.  I headed there to stock up on some jars for travel because Eric and I plan on making Rocco's food from fresh vegetables.  We did not really plan on feeding it to him right away but he was gobbling up that cereal so fast we thought we would give it a try.
He loves them.  He reaches for the bowl.  He grabs my hand holding the spoon and pulls it to his lips.  He munches away on as much as we will allow.

Sweet potato madness

While I am not happy that my little baby is getting bigger, this phase of his development is fun.  I can't wait to see his reaction to peas.  I'm looking forward to giving him his first fruit.  But all of that means he will one day eat ONLY solid food and no longer nurse.  And  I don't want that to end.  I have really grown to love it and the time he and I spend together.

But for now we will continue with what we are doing.
The Menu-
Breast milk
Formula
Rice cereal
Oatmeal cereal
Sweet potatoes
Squash
Welcome to Rocco's Dinner Party.

It's the loneliest number that you'll ever do...

Whenever someone asks the question, "Is he your first?" I reply quite quickly, "Yes. And my last."
Everyone (I should say everyone with children) says I will change my mind.  "Just wait", they say.
I doubt that.
Eric and I are quite confident we are not interested in another child.  That may sound cold.  It seems cold as I type it.  How could we not be 'interested' in another child?
It's simple.
Children are expensive.
Children are exhausting.
Eric and I are getting older, not younger.  Which means we are slower and ache in more places.
I did not enjoy being pregnant.
Eric did not enjoy my being pregnant.
Childbirth is not on my list of things to do again.
The first month with Rocco was a questionable time period as well.
Eric and I are tired.  We barely have time for ourselves let alone each other.
We are financially spread pretty thin.
I could give a few more reasons but I think you get the idea...

I would do it all over again for Rocco.  Without a doubt.  He is the most amazing thing in the world.  He makes my soul sing and my heart feel like it is going to explode it is so full.  But I'm not interested in going through it all again.
I keep getting told that Rocco is going to be lonely without siblings.  'Only children' are bossy.  They don't know how to share.  They need to be the center of attention.  They have a hard time socializing.  Etc.
I have found plenty of information that contradicts those theories.

My niece is an only child.  She has none of the above stated characteristics.  She is very active in the community.  She has tons of friends, is able to share, and she is giving.  My sister and brother in law raised her to do those things.  She has better social skills than most of her friends with siblings.

Growing up one of my closest friends was an only child.  She had nice things but I would not say she was spoiled.   Her parents were simply able to supply her with a higher standard of living because they only had one child to provide for.  She had a nice stereo and her parents bought her a car the year we all turned 16.  But it was a used car.  And she never made us feel less than.

Eric is an only child.  I'm not sure he is the best example of someone who grew up well adjusted.  He had his own set of circumstances to deal with.  But being an only child didn't prevent him from being able to make friends or engage in meaningful relationships as an adult.  He was also blessed with a ton of cousins - the next best thing to brothers and sisters.

I want to be able to provide for my son and I want him to live comfortably.  I'm not talking about buying him everything he asks for.  My hope is that his priorities with not involve hand held electronics and name brand clothes.  I want to be able to send him to camp, pay for his braces, and not go broke doing so.  Having another child would make that a bit more challenging.  And I'm not a fan of financial insecurity.

Another factor in our decision is our age.  I heard on the radio a few years ago that women can not sell their eggs after the age of 27 because that is the age that their eggs 'go bad'.  27 was a long time ago for me.  Plus I drank for 15 years and smoked for almost 20.  Since I was 35 when I had Rocco I was sent to a prenatal specialist and was considered 'high risk'.  While Eric and I had faith that Rocco would be healthy I couldn't help but get a little nervous before every appointment at which time the doctor looked for 'abnormalities' and 'deformities'.  We have been blessed with one healthy baby.  We are not willing to take any chances with the health and well being of another nor are we prepared to lose a child.

Most of you know that my husband is a physical hot mess.  Degenerative disc disease.  Brian injury.  Replacement hips.  Screws in his ankle.  Bolts in his forehead.  Most everyday physical activity causes him pain and puts further strain on his body.  Rocco is only getting heavier.  That kid needs to start walking before his Daddy ends up in a wheelchair.

Eric and I have confidence that we will raise a happy boy who is kind and respectful to others.  We will put extra effort into his social life if need be.  We are doing what is right for this family.  We appreciate your advice and respect your opinions.  But we are done.

4 months

My baby is getting so big! (said sadly with a pout)
Today was his four month well visit.
He is 16lbs even.  Mommy and Daddy guessed right.
He is 26 inches long.
Two more shots and an oral vaccine.
He is exhausted.  After the appointment we did some shopping at Adam's and then he played at Grandma's house while I went to the gym.
He is asleep in his carseat.
I can't wait to get him naked and lounge on the couch before bed.
Rocco, Mama loves you more and more as there is more of you to love.
XOXOXO Punky.

Rocco rocks out at the Rosendale Street Festival

Super silly at Grandma's

Not so sure about this thing yet.